1. looking for neil at binghamton. he was lost–he was lost– 2. seeing the fbi cars in the parking lot of the motel. which only meant one thing. dragging wymack behind him, running to break down the door to the motel. neil was–he was found 3. when the foxes beat the ravens and andrew sees riko raise his racket to hit neil. but he couldnt lose him. not again, not like this–and faster than his own thoughts were his own reflexes to protect neil. running over to break riko’s arm before riko could swing down on neil –he was safe.
do you ever think about how andrew sat through neil’s interrogation and still chose him? like, we talk about neil choosing andrew, but neil already knew andrew’s past. the fbi probably asked about his childhood, what he saw his father do, what neil himself was trained to do under his watch and then he had to talk about his mother and the thing she did, the things she made him to whilst on the run. after all that, andrew still chose him.
I still can’t get over how Andrew was surprised when Neil wasn’t wearing his contacts the first time they went to Columbia.
When Nicky first tells him not to wear them, it seems like Andrew sent Nicky as his minion to make him not wear them.
But then Andrew is surprised and asks why Neil isn’t wearing them when he goes to pick Neil up.
Andrew, who shows no interest in anything and is known for barely talking to people, kept everything else he found in Neil’s room secret, but would not shut up about the fact that Neil wore brown contact lenses and he didn’t like the colour.
He talked about Neil’s fake eye colour so much that Nicky went and told Neil not to wear the contacts anymore just to try to sate Andrew.
· this breaks my heart every time because neil really was thinking he would eventually have to tell andrew he had fallen in love
· and that he was trying to accept the heartbroken because he was the fool who forgot where the lines were
· but then andrew fought for him
· he broke aaron’s promise to keep neil
· and then neil knew he didn’t cross the line alone
Neil had forgotten what it was like to be touched without malicious
intent. He’d forgotten what body heat felt like. Everything about Andrew
was hot, from the hands holding him down to the mouth steadily taking
Neil apart. Neil finally understood why his mother thought this was so
dangerous. This was distraction and indiscretion, avoidance and denial.
It was letting hisguard down, letting someone in, and taking comfort in
something he shouldn’t have and couldn’t keep.
The thing i love about andreil getting married (regardless of the motivation) is the idea that neil abram josten, the boy who probably spent years on the run wishing he could have a normal family, a normal home, and a normal relationship, the boy who nearly fought to death just to have his name, gets to write “neil josten” on a marriage certificate. He gets to hear a judge ask andrew “do you take neil josten to be your lawfully wedded husband?” and he has the goofiest grin that has andrew glaring and raising the percentage because he’s home. He has a paper that says so forever, until death or whenever andrew finally makes good on his threats to kill him, and its never felt so good to not be nathaniel wesninski anymore.
